Pattern Seeking - Outside and Within

In the last newsletter I wrote, I recommended the Pattern Seekers in the context of our podcast with Adam and Rosie. Little did I know we would be recording a whole episode on the book and the application of systematising and empathising systems in our leadership brains soon after.

I find this shows the systematising nature of my brain. I frequently elevate above the moments I am experiencing to look for patterns. This is the starting point to much of my reflective practice – What actions did I take? What reactions did the world around me have? Why did I choose that particular path, and was the nucleus of motivation inside or outside of me?

It's in these moments I find my empathy starts to develop, first for everyone around me, and then for myself. I notice that I explore the spoken and non-spoken reactions people have, which cues me to respond in preferably harmony with that person. That could mean empathy, challenge, compassion, provocation, humour or something completely different.

This natural ability became sharpened during my MSc in Coaching and Behavioural Change, where I learnt how reflective practice is a critical capability for becoming a world-class Executive Coach.

Coaching is often seen as one of those critical capabilities for success as a leader in today’s world. The ability to sit, listen, nurture, and inspire inner motivation in one of your team has proven benefits, proven further beyond the directive nature leaders of previous generations had used.

However, what if this is not in your nature, yet you find yourself having to lead? 

Here’s where I recommend you make some choices. In service of developing you, here are some questions to stimulate your alertness to which direction you want to take. Grab a coffee, and sit with each question for 60 seconds to see what answers emerge for you:

 · What has led you to be in the situation you are in? Did the driver come from outside or inside of you, and either way, what is quenching the thirst of this driver satisfying in you?

· Where could leading take you? Where could leading take your team and the outcomes you collectively achieve?

· Do you lead from a systemising or empathising brain in the first instance? How does this show up in your leadership, before, during and after moments of leadership and coaching?

· What do you do when you are afraid, and how is that showing up in moments of uncertainty?

Now, sitting with these questions (plus the many more that should start to come up for you) and finding your authentic response might seem taxing, time consuming and tedious. I get it, it’s not easy to do, requires more attention than your average Tik Tok, and the ‘guaranteed success’ you might be seeking may not come from your efforts in this moment.

But here is where leaders earn those bigger bucks.

 Reflecting on their patterns in leadership helps leaders get to the nub of what’s catalysing their actions or holding them back. You help yourself see what is right in front of you AND what you missed the first time you saw it – insights that you can take into your next leadership moment.

 And over time, you develop your reflective practice muscles. Just like repetitions in the gym helps improve your fitness and strength, regularly stepping back and reflecting on your choices and the reactions around you to those choices supports your development as a leader.

 Now you know why the Seth Godin’s, Brené Brown’s and Steven Bartlett’s of this world recommend taking time away from delivering to consider how you are delivering.

 That time away lets you elevate above moments to recognise the patterns, pinpoint the motivators and blockers, make choices and deliver those choices in a way that serves yourself and those around you to improved outcomes.

 And here’s the kicker…this is now part of your job as a leader. You’re paid to engage, inspire and deliver. If you’re doing this ad-hoc because ‘I haven’t got time’ let me ask you this – are you just surviving or playing to win?

 ‘I haven’t got time’ is most often spoken by leaders who are just surviving. Playing to win leaders can be the solution their group needs from considering the patterns outside and within themselves.

 If you find yourself uttering those immortal words, why don’t you start making a regular moment to consider where you’re coming from, what outcome you want to lead towards, and how you are going to inspire yourself and the world you lead to better outcomes.

 I’d be surprised if this doesn’t make you a better leader.

Graham